Jamie Foxx Had to Show Us His Penis to Teach Us that Slavery was Wrong

How you win an Academy Award...
How you win an Academy Award…

I’m sure I speak for the millions of us who’ve seen Django Unchained that of all the shocking, unexpected features of Quentin Tarantino‘s epic Western-revisionist-history-whatever-it-was, Jamie Foxx‘s (enormous) package dangling in Sam Jackson’s face was by far the most unexpected.  Far be it from me to tell you how to feel about the experience — many have said that Jamie was also pretty stiff in Dreamgirls, but I digress.

Good for Jamie Foxx though.  He’s cemented himself in the world of serious actors who bare their bits because it is absolutely essential for the plot.  I, for one, could not have felt the pain of an illiterate Nazi wench in The Reader had Kate Winslet not let her hoohah out, for example.  And while some will judge harshly and point to the obvious gratuitousness in putting one’s pecker on the big screen, to those I say:


As the Winter gives way to Spring, take the lesson of Django and unchain your inhibitions.  Rock out with your cock out!  (Ladies, I’m speaking metaphorically, of course).  Undoubtedly there are things that you’ve wanted to try and been too afraid of the overexposure.  Now is the time to step out of the shadows and show the world your ass.  Note: some people will not like it.  That’s okay — developing haters are a part of the process.

For me, exposing myself really means developing material that taps into who I am as a person and trusting audiences to accept me in spite of (because of?) my quirks.  I’ll admit, it has not been easy.  I can and have developed a lot of jokes that are funny but feel somewhat safe.  Now in year five of the journey, I feel like I’m finally learning how to tap into a deeper place and connect with the audience in a more authentic way.  In a real sense, it is like being naked on the stage.

But being naked on stage doesn’t have to be a bad thing.  (It certainly can be — see Showgirls).  Rather, it can be freeing and empowering.  That is why my comedy goal moving forward is to let it all hang out.

So thank you Jamie Foxx for *ahem* pointing the way. Not only did you give us a long, hard look at the evils of slavery, you showed us how important it is to be confident in one’s own foreskin.  I’ll attack my craft with a harder thrust from now on.  And besides, if comedy doesn’t work out, I can always fall back on showing my junk for the sake of a dramatic role.

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