Accomplishing a goal is a lot like having an orgasm. We’ve all had at least one rousing success that blew our proverbial hair back and made us need a cigarette. Hopefully that has motivated us or a repeat performance. For some of us, they have been quite public — the crowd popped for every joke or hung on every note, etc. — others prefer to remain off the radar. We’ve also all had some experiences that we thought would be mind blowing only to have them fizzle and disappoint. Either way, there is an undeniable sense of achievement and finish when one sets his or her mind to a task and sees it through to its conclusion.
Now I know it’s better to have an orgasm with someone else. Looking deeply into someone’s eyes (or trying to breathe through a pillow, whatever, and knowing that you are working toward the same climax is magical. But in life, just as in sex, a party of one is still a party worth attending. If no one will help you, baby you’ve got to help yourself.
It’s too easy to make excuses for why things aren’t working out for you the way they should. It’s not hard to blame others directly or even indirectly for your own position in life. While you wait for someone to cum (I couldn’t resist!) by with a roadmap and a handout, you are missing your opportunity to create your own path and explore the limits of your own ability. I have been learning this lesson repeatedly recently; the more motivated I’ve been to try to find a new manager and have people “discover” me, the more time I’ve been wasting discovering myself and managing my own career. I realize that I have to be my best lover before anyone else wants to take come along for the ride.
Ultimately, we must ask ourselves what our own success is worth to us. While sometimes our journey to the top (or hell, just to the next level) feels like a wild romp on the pleasure train, often it’s slow and tedious and leaves us apologizing for our performance anxiety. In those times, do you quit pumping and read a book or do you dig in and plow away until you find the right rhythm? I feel like I’ve made great tangible progress toward getting where I want to go recently. Even more than that, I feel like I’ve finally started creating a viable game plan for trying to get my name and particular brand of keep-it-realism to the masses. I know I have to keep going though. Soon enough I’ll break through or my hamstrings will give out.
I can’t just be a passenger on the train; I’ve got to conduct it, collect the tickets, call out the stops, and sometimes even do some track maintenance. How are you getting where you want to go today?